1 The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don’t hate it.
4. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
6. A dog’s parents never visit.
7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.
8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk.
10. Dogs seldom outlive you.
11. Dogs can’t talk.
12. You never have to wait for a dog; they’re ready to go 24 hours a day.
13. Dogs find you amusing when you’re drunk.
14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.
16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, “If I died, would you get another dog?”
17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
19. A dog won’t hold out on you to get a new car.
20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don’t get mad. They just think it’s interesting.
21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater.
22. Dogs don’t let magazine articles guide their lives.
23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.
24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.
25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale’s or Neiman-Marcus.
26. If a dog leaves, it won’t take half of your stuff.
Take care………
Drivel & Drool
Things That Really Bug Me
<i/m Reprint>
Companies that spend a jillion dollars on a web site, yet the programmers aren’t smart enough to strip spaces, periods, dashes etc. from phone and credit card numbers
George F. Bush
Piss ant Police departments that have so much time on their hands they do “safety” checks. Can I hear a big Bull Shit!
The Patriot Act – like its going to catch anything.
Names for employees, like “associates” and “partners” OR my new favorite From Sam’s Club – “coach”. What really bugs me most is the places that use these feel-good terms like Wal-Mart would sell their employees body parts to slave traders if it would add .01 to the quarterly income.
“Disrespected” athletes making 8 figure salaries.
Big Oil – I guess everyone saw that Exxon just made more money last quarter than ANY US company in history! I recently wrote about their blatant thievery and some douche bag commented that it was a supply issue – China- India and other palaver spewed out by the American Petroleum Institute. I said then – just wait for the quarterly report. If anyone thinks we got rid of all the fucking bandits and crooks when Enron and Worldcomm crashed you’re fooling yourself. American business is corruption on corruption. We can no longer entrust our well being to “free enterprise”. It doesn’t exist.
Wall Street – speaking of crooks. The Exxon quarter “disappointed” the MBAs, CPAs and CFUs and the stock went down. What a joke our financial system has become.
Alan Greenspan – he’s screwed up more times than George F. Bush II and no one seems to know.
Escalades – the ultimate prickmobile.
BUNKO
Confession – I’m a hobbyist magician
Cover your children’s eyes and ears. I’m coming out of the closet. I am a hobbyist and unabashedly proud of it.
This week I was working on John Kennedy’s excellent Translocation. I have the lecture notes and put John Mendoza’s DVD in the player to watch his variation on it. While this DVD set is excruciatingly tedious, Mendoza is someone that has an eye for good magic and has managed to go through life without a real job. This has my admiration.
Over the course of the DVD set he manages to deride the non-professionals several times. He’s not alone at this. Certain blogs continually whizz on the hobbyist and club magician. They only have interest, or tolerance actually, when they want to move some of their overpriced crud.
The truth of the matter is that a lot of the pros are not just so-so, more than a few of them are just plain bad. Just recently I was with a group that went to a lecture of a very famous magician. I’m not talking about someone that had a reputation and is now old and feeble, but someone that should be in their prime. One of the group asked to see his invisible pass. Honestly, it was so bad we thought he was kidding us. When it became apparent that he was just bad there was an uncomfortable silence and we disbursed as soon as possible. This wasn’t the only time, by far, I’ve seen this sort of thing.
Magic is a great hobby and there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe we should have Hobbyist Pride Parades or put cool initials after our name like James Clark (Magic Hobbyist Anonymous?!?!).
Personally, I’m make a point of not patronising performances, lectures and products of those that look down their noses at us.
Take care………